Another Off-Platform Guest from Hell

Some days our Airbnb adventure is, well, more of an adventure than others.

I took what I thought would be our first direct booking, meaning outside of Airbnb or VRBO: The guest contracts with us directly, and we collect payment without a middleman. This is something we generally want, as it not only increases our margin, but gives us some redundancy so we're not dependent on one or two platforms.

Last Friday, I got a surprise phone call from a guy who found the house listed as a 'Homestay' on Google Maps (which I didn't know was the case). He was very friendly on the phone; said he's a crane operator on a major nearby construction project, and needs 3 weeks of lodging while his travel trailer is in the shop, after which he'll move into that. 

So, I figured I'd start him in our current Airbnb for the weekend, and the move him to the new one (in the house where I live) for the remainder. We worked out a price and I wrote up a little contract and everything seemed good to go.

Stuff started breaking down, unfortunately, over payment. He initially said he'd pay me through Chime (a Venmo / Cash App competitor), but then "ran into a problem" with it. So, he said he'd give me cash upon arrival in town later in the evening.

At this point I needed to leave for an evening appointment, so we agreed I'd swing by the next day to get the payment. Yes, this is my first big mistake - allowing someone to occupy the property without full payment in advance.

Next day I'm like, OK, coming your way to get the cash ... "Oh, I don't HAVE it yet ... I have to go to the ATM". This turns into "I was only able to withdraw $300 before the ATM ate my card; nothing can be done til Monday."

During the phone discussion about this, he drops another big fat red flag when he says he "should break the bank manager's jaw" over the ATM thing.

About this time I get a camera alert, and check it to see additional people arriving - a woman and two teen boys - after he'd told me he'd be the only occupant. I ask about this, and he says it's his ex and his estranged sons, who he hasn't seen in two years.

So I head over and get the cash he currently has, and we talk a bit about how glad he is to see his boys and how they're all sobbing inside and so happy to see one another. I wish them well and tell him to enjoy the time together and we'll figure out the remaining payment in the morning. I also texted afterward with some additional ideas for things he could do with the kids in Taylor; he responds with what a great host I am, etc.

So, next day comes and goes, and with him checking out of the first property the following day, I texted him at 9:30 PM with my standard pre-checkout message I send all my guests: Hope you enjoyed your stay, checkout is at 11 tomorrow, please send a note when you leave so I can coordinate the cleaning.

My phone immediately rings. We exchange niceties and he asks if he can still come to the second house tomorrow. I tell him I can't let him check in there until the first stay is fully paid up and he's paid for the first week at the second house.

At this point he tips over into rapid-fire, increasingly hostile speech, with no real plan coming forward for the balance due. Voice getting higher and louder and faster; profanity leaking in. I'm really not pressing hard - I'm just asking for a clear plan, while he's just picking up speed like a snowball rolling down a hill.

And then he starts scolding me for "YOU CALLING ME UP AND BITCHING AT ME ABOUT WHAT I OWE YOU.."

He has literally forgotten that HE CALLED ME. He has made up a story in his own head, ONE THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN, and is angry about that story. So I let him bluster until he's done, give him a pregnant pause, and say:

"You realize YOU called ME, right?"

"Well ... you texted me!"

"Yes, I text all my guests the night before checkout, with checkout instructions."

"Well ... I HATE TEXTING! I DON'T TEXT! I have CONVERSATIONS! TEXTING IS FOR THE WEAK!"

At this point, it's clear there's no way in hell this guy is staying another day with us, especially not in my personal home. So I tell him we'll figure it out tomorrow, wish him a good night, and hang up. My only motivation at this point is to avoid sending him into a rampage, so he won't tear up our Airbnb; by now it's 10PM and bumping him out that night would be a circus. So I did my best to settle down and went to bed.

He works extremely early, so by the time I woke this morning he was gone. I head over there first thing and find both garage doors standing open, along with the walk door into the house.

The house itself looks pretty good, a pretty standard post-guest look ... but he left some strange stuff behind, including a Big Scary Knife, a button-down shirt, an HEB cooler bag, and a coffee cup with one of those dumb "macho melting 'Merica flags" on it. I'm thinking it's pretty weird he would have left without these things.

I did check all the nightstand drawers for guns. (Guests discovering guns left by previous guests, and missed by the cleaners, is a not-unheard of thing in hosting.) Thankfully, I found none.

What I DID find was white powder residue on the bedroom floor, along with a bottle of spray air freshener, typically located across the house.

At this point our leading theory is his crazy work schedule (multiple sequential 10-hour days, invoving getting up at 3AM and being on site by 5AM, plus out-of-town travel) has led him to use some sort of drugs to keep up, as can happen with truck drivers. It fits with his jitteriness, inability to articulate a simple plan, paranoia, and aggressiveness.

I changed the code on the lock and then texted him that due to his aggressive tone in last night's phone call, I'm no longer interested in hosting him. He can drop off the balance due via Chime or in the mailbox, but other than that, he's not welcome at either property. He replied with a simple thumbs-up. Maybe I'll collect something; maybe not; in any case, he's outta there. (Update: He never paid the balance.)

I did the turnover personally today, locking myself in the house, parking in the garage with the door closed, feeling jumpy and over-alert the whole time. Made it through the day without incident, and now the house is occupied by our regular weekly guests.

I'm breathing a tentative sigh of relief at this point. My partner and I have had some deep discussions about my willingness to give people the benefit of the doubt, which more often than not seems to bite me. In any case, I'm never allowing anyone to occupy a place again without full payment in advance.